Friday, October 31, 2008

Choppy

I'm in a funk. Lonely and self pitying. It has to stop.
Halloween. I had a great night with my nieces and nephews and the rest of the family.
However, the second I got in my car, by myself, I felt blah.
Perhaps, I shouldn't spend any time alone, I think too much.
I ate Portillo's today. This probably means nothing to the people who read my blog. If you are curious, google it.
I finally squeezed into jeans that haven't fit me in two years. Sure, they were a little snug, but they fit... and that made me happy.
It's my grandparents (Fred's mom and dad) 50th wedding anniversary party this weekend. It blows my mind. 50 years with the same person is amazing. If I want to have a shot at being married that long, I better get married tomorrow.
I'm a jealous person. I wish I wasn't, it's not something I am proud of.
I miss my dad. I wish I had an extra 300 dollars lying around so I could fly down to Florida to see him.
This blog is so unstructured and it really bothers me. But, it resembles my thoughts right now. Choppy and random.
I think everyone should keep a diary and write in it at least once a week. I retract that. Once a month. If I were to say once a week, that would be hypocritical.
Writing this pointless blog is keeping me from the unevitable. Thinking.

Goodnight.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Scattergories

Things I like that start with the letter "A"


Amazing grace
Art
Artisan bread
Apples to Apples
American Idol
Almena
Acoustic Cafe
Afghans
Andy Rooney
Allrecipes.com


Yeah, the letter A is horrible.
Don't take offense... Andrea or Amy, or any of you A named people for that matter.

Stay tuned for more stimulating blogs...

Thursday, October 9, 2008

I wrote a blog and then I deleted it.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

I knew this would happen.

Just disregard my previous post. Well, maybe not all of it. Last night I reached the point that I was afraid would come. I miss him. Or I think I miss him. I don't know the difference anymore. I knew that things were too good to be true. I knew that I was handling it all just a little too well. I hate that I sound like some high-school drama queen right now. This unsure feeling sucks. In the back of my mind, I hear the reasonable voice, telling me that its not him I miss, just the idea of him.
I just want to know, or maybe deep down I do and I just can't admit it. This is the first time that I have felt genuinely upset about us.

This is probably just an off day.







I babble sometimes.